What is the fight or flight response?
The fight-or-flight response is our body’s instinctive response to threats to our safety and risks of danger in our environment. When a threat is identified, the system activates our body to respond in three common ways. Running away (flight), getting ready to defend and fight (fight), ‘play dead’ (freeze), and a lesser-known response of ‘tend and befriend’ (fawn). All these responses are initiated subconsciously, depending on how our brain has assessed the danger. For example, if a much taller and stronger-looking person were approaching you, your brain would quickly assess that standing up to them wouldn’t be a safe option. Instead, your brain and nervous system may initiate the fight-or-flight response of moving out of the way or running away.
Why the "thinking brain" switches off
When this system is activated, the reflective and thoughtful parts of the brain shut off to allow for quick, lifesaving action. If we were cave people still living in a high-threat environment, and loud rustling could be heard in the long grass nearby, it wouldn’t be helpful to ignore it or wait to see what it was. It also wouldn’t be useful to admire the lovely flowers in the tree nearby! Jumping or startling and running away would be the most lifesaving response. If nothing came out of the grass and it went quiet, you may still feel anxious and unsure. You would feel on high alert until you were sure there was no danger. Slowly, your heart rate would return to normal, and you would feel relaxed again.
While highly activated, it is common to have a narrowed focus (on the threat), and this is often why people can’t recall a lot of information about their environment afterwards, and why people’s memories after an accident or scary incident can be different or challenging to remember. This process illustrates how the fight-or-flight response affects attention and memory.
Automatic responses and why they happen
The reactive response is often subconscious, which means you don’t actively choose how to respond. It is primarily based on how your nervous system is ‘reading’ the environment, what is happening and your prior experiences. Sometimes, after the situation is over, you may feel confused by how you reacted or question why you didn’t respond differently. Ever had the experience when you think over a conversation or situation and wonder why you weren’t more assertive, or you didn’t question someone’s actions? It’s always easier to consider different ‘solutions’ when the threat has passed or is over. The fight-or-flight response may have driven your reaction before your thinking brain had a chance to respond.
Freeze, fawn, and assertiveness
If you often feel that you tend to have a ‘shut down’ (freeze) response and you often feel frustrated in social interactions, wishing you could speak up and prefer to be more assertive (not aggressive), it may be an indication that you have learnt that it is safer or good to not disagree with others. For example, if you expressed your disagreement as a child and you got in trouble, or a parent became upset with you, you would learn that it isn’t ‘safe’ to express yourself.
Unfortunately, we can become ‘stuck’ in our coping style well into our adult lives and continue not to express our needs and wants. As a result, this leaves us feeling unheard, frustrated, and often unmet. This can often be a result of how your fight-or-flight response developed in earlier life experiences. Insightful Living Co. offers holistic psychology in Melbourne, where we explore how these patterns emerge and affect everyday relationships.
If this sounds like something you would like support with, our psychologists are eager to help you develop your assertiveness style and help heal past coping strategies, so you can feel free and communicate openly with your family, friends, and work colleagues. At our Surrey Hills psychology location and through our broader holistic psychology services in Melbourne, we help clients develop healthier coping strategies and communication skills.
Support for managing stress responses
If you recognise yourself in the fight, flight, freeze or fawn response, know that you’re not alone. These are natural reactions, but they don’t need to control your life. Understanding your fight-or-flight response is the first step. When you visit Insightful Living Co. in Surrey Hills, near Burwood and Box Hill, our psychologists can help you understand your stress responses and build more confident, assertive ways of coping.
Our psychology team in Surrey Hills works with you to build confidence and clarity. We offer warm, trauma-informed care through our holistic psychologist practices. Book a session today and take the first step towards feeling more in control.
About the author
Anita Missiha (Principal Psychologist at Insightful Living Co)
Anita Missiha is a Principal Psychologist and registered member of the APS, with a particular interest in anxiety, depression, eating concerns, and work-related issues.