R U OK? Day reminds us of the importance of checking in with the people around us. However, for many neurodivergent people, recognising when they are struggling can be difficult, particularly when stress tends to build gradually or when they are used to pushing through challenges despite feeling overwhelmed. Sometimes the first signs that we're not doing well are not emotional. Instead, they show up in our day-to-day functioning.
Signs You May Need to Check In With Yourself
If you’re autistic, ADHD, or otherwise neurodivergent, it can be helpful to notice changes in your usual patterns. Some common signs that your wellbeing may be declining include:
- Feeling more exhausted than usual, even after rest
- Increased sensory sensitivity or irritability
- Needing more time alone or finding social interactions more draining
- Greater difficulty managing everyday tasks, such as household chores, appointments, or work responsibilities
- Finding it harder to concentrate, organise, or make decisions
- Increased emotional reactions, shutdowns, or feelings of overwhelm
- Losing interest in activities you normally enjoy
- Feeling like you’re constantly “getting through the day” rather than engaging with it
These changes do not necessarily mean that something is seriously wrong, but they can be important indicators that your current demands may be exceeding your available resources.
A Simple Self Check-In
Rather than asking yourself, “Am I OK?”, try asking:
- How is my energy level compared to a few weeks ago?
- What tasks feel harder than they usually do?
- Have I been recovering from stress, or just accumulating more of it?
- What has been taking up most of my mental energy lately?
- What do I need more of right now: rest, support, connection, routine, or time alone?
Looking at your daily functioning is often more informative than trying to identify a specific emotion. Noticing small changes early can help prevent stress from building into burnout.
Checking In With Others
When supporting a neurodivergent friend, family member, or colleague, broad questions such as "Are you OK?" can sometimes be difficult to answer. More specific questions may feel easier and provide a clearer picture of how the person is doing. Consider asking:
- “How has your energy been lately?”
- “Have things felt more difficult than usual?”
- “How are you coping with work, study, or day-to-day tasks?”
- “What’s been taking up most of your energy recently?”
- Is there anything that would make things feel more manageable right now?”
It’s also important to remember that support does not always need to involve problem-solving. Sometimes listening, validating someone’s experience, or helping with practical tasks can be just as meaningful.
The Takeaway
Being “OK” is not simply the absence of a mental health diagnosis or crisis. Often, our wellbeing is reflected in how we are managing everyday life. Noticing changes in energy, coping, motivation, and daily functioning can be a valuable way to check in with ourselves and those around us. This R U OK? Day, consider looking beyond the words and paying attention to the signs that someone, including yourself, might need a little extra support.