Healing after loss is a deeply personal journey that affects every aspect of life. It is a process that unfolds over time, allowing individuals to adjust to their new reality.
What is grief?
What comes to mind when you think of grief? Sadness? Sorrow? Depression? Grief is a normal, natural, and complex emotional response to loss. It is a universal experience that affects people from all backgrounds, yet it is unique to each person.
Grief is often linked to the death of a loved one, but it can also come from other significant losses. These may include the end of a relationship, an illness diagnosis, infertility, or losing a job, pet, or support network.1 The journey of healing after loss is different for everyone, and it is important to recognise that no two experiences are the same.
The term ‘grief’ describes a wide range of responses we experience after loss. These responses can affect our thoughts, feelings, behaviours, beliefs, physical health, and relationships.2 While sadness is common, so are other intense emotions such as shock, denial, anger, fear, anxiety, relief, guilt, and numbness.3 Healing after loss involves understanding these emotions and allowing space for them as part of the process.
When do we experience grief?
Grief can occur at any point in life and is not limited to major life events. Sometimes, it is anticipated, such as when caring for a terminally ill loved one. Other times, it comes unexpectedly, like in the case of sudden death or a natural disaster. Healing after loss can feel especially challenging when grief is unexpected or layered with other personal struggles.
Repeated personal losses, such as losing more than one loved one or experiencing multiple forms of loss close together, can compound grief. Without time to process each loss, it can feel overwehlming.4 Societal and global events, such as the pandemic, can also intensify personal grief. Recognising the need for healing after loss in these situations is crucial for emotional well-being.
What are the impacts of normal grief?
Grief affects a person’s overall health and well-being in many ways. While it is a natural response to loss, many people do not expect the full impact it can have on their lives.
- Mental Health: Grieving individuals may struggle with confusion, intrusive thoughts, difficulty concentrating, disbelief, or even visions of deceased. Some experience mental health difficulties such as insomnia, depression, and anxiety. Healing after loss requires oneself to process these thoughts and emotions.
- Physical Health: Grief can cause fatigue, appetite changes, headaches, body aches, and weakened immune systems. Chronic stress from grief may lead to heart disease, high blood pressure, and other health issues.5
- Social and Family Relationships: Grief can put a strain on relationships. Friends may not fully understand or offer the right support. Family members may grieve in different ways, leading to misunderstandings or conflicts.
- Work and Daily Functioning: Grief can affect job performance, daily responsibilities, and the ability to handle stress. For some, financial stress may also increase if they relied on the deceased person’s income, or now have unexpected financial strain
- Identity and Self-Perception: Losing someone close can change an individual’s sense of identity, especially if the person lost was a central figure in their life. Or when losing the support and comfort a pet provides??
- Spiritual Response: Some people find their faith strengthened while others may question their beliefs. Grief can bring deep existential questions about life and mortality.
How long does grief last?
Healing after loss does not follow a set timeline. Some people experience intense, all-consuming grief, while others find they can return to daily life within weeks or months. There is no right or wrong timeline for grief, and it can last for years or even decades (Grief Australia). Over time, the intensity of grief often lessens, allowing a new sense of normal to develop.
How can I cope with loss and grief?
People experience grief in different ways, and there is no single way to process loss. Most people adjust through self-care, support, and allowing themselves to grieve. Healing after loss involves giving yourself permission to feel emotions and finding outlets to express them. Whether through writing, talking, or creative activities, expressing grief is an important part of the journey.
For some, grief leads to positive life changes, such as new relationships, career paths, or personal growth. While painful, loss can sometimes inspire meaningful new directions in life.
When should I seek professional help?
It is normal to feel a mix of emotions about loss, including sadness, relief, and guilt. Talking to someone can be helpful, especially if grief feels overwhelming.
Seeking professional support is an important step in healing after loss if it begins to interfere with daily life, relationships, or well-being. If you have withdrawn from social activities, struggle to manage work, or rely on unhealthy coping mechanisms, reaching out is important.
Prolonged Grief Disorder affects about 7%-10% of people who experience persistent and intense grieving that severely interferes with their daily functioning.6 People with Prolonged Grief Disorder tend to have an intense longing and preoccupation with the deceased person for over 12 months. They tend to actively avoid the reality of the death and would greatly benefit from seeking professional care from a psychologist, GP, and psychatrist.
How your psychologist can help individuals facing healing after loss
Psychologists play a key role in helping individuals and families navigate the grieving process. They offer support beyond family and friends, helping people move through grief in a healthy way. Healing after loss is a deeply personal experience, and a psychologist can provide strategies to ease this journey.
- Providing a Safe Space: Psychologists offer a confidential space where people can express their emotions without fear of judgment.
- Normalising Grief: Many grieving individuals feel isolated. Psychologists help normalise grief by explaining common reactions and emotions.
- Cognitive Behavioural Techniques: Psychologists use cognitive-behavioural techniques to help individuals challenge and reframe unhelpful thoughts associated with grief. This approach can reduce feelings of guilt, anger, and hopelessness.
- Emotion-Focused Therapy: This approach helps clients identify and process deep emotional pain, encouraging acceptance and healing after loss.
- Grief Counseling and Therapy: Individualised grief counselling offers tailored support. Techniques like narrative therapy, where individuals share their story of loss, can be particularly healing.
- Family Therapy: Grief can create tension within families. Therapy can help family members communicate and support each other.- SHOULD WE KEEP THIS IN WHEN WE DON’T OFFER FAMILY THERAPY??
- Mindfulness and Relaxation Strategies: Practices like meditation and mindfulness can ease physical symptoms of grief and reduce stress.
- Support Groups: Connecting with others who have experienced loss can be incredibly comforting and provide a sense of community.
We're here to help: psychology in Surrey Hills
Grief is a difficult but natural part of life. Understanding its complexities and recognising its impact on mental, physical, and social well-being is key to healing after loss. If you have experienced loss, seeking support can provide compassionate guidance to help you move forward.
Our psychologists at Insightful Living Co offer tailored strategies for you, and a safe space to navigate the grieving process. With a focus on psychology Surrey Hills, we are committed to supporting your emotional health through each stage of your grief.
Remember, seeking help is a sign of strength. No one must face grief alone. Make an appointment with Dr Cheryl Remedios or one of our qualified team members in psychology Surrey Hills for the support you need on your healing journey.
Author: Insightful Living Co. Psychologist Cheryl Remedios
References
- Australian Psychological Society (APS)- Grief https://psychology.org.au/for-the-public/psychology-topics/grief
- Life Line- Grief and Loss - https://www.lifeline.org.au/media/tpmhzojb/web-oct_ll-2pp-fact-sheet_grief-loss.pdf
- Health Direct – Grief and Loss https://www.healthdirect.gov.au/grief-loss
- Allie Z, Le Roux E, Mahlatsi K, Mofokeng B, Ramoo ZA, Sibiya K, Joubert G, Van Rooyen JP, Brits H. Bereavement overload and its effects on, and related coping mechanisms of health care providers and ward administrators at National District Hospital in Bloemfontein, Free State. Afr J Prim Health Care Fam Med. 2018 Jun 18;10(1):e1-e7. doi: 10.4102/phcfm.v10i1.1652. PMID: 29943609; PMCID: PMC6018376.
- Grief Line- Grief and Loss Fundamentals https://knowledge.griefline.org.au/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2023/08/2.-Grief-and-loss-fundamentals_2023.pdf
- Szuhany KL, Malgaroli M, Miron CD, Simon NM. Prolonged Grief Disorder: Course, Diagnosis, Assessment, and Treatment. Focus (Am Psychiatr Publ). 2021 Jun;19(2):161-172. doi: 10.1176/appi.focus.20200052. Epub 2021 Jun 17. PMID: 34690579; PMCID: PMC8475918.
- American Psychiatric Association. (2022). Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders (5th ed., text rev.). https://doi.org/10.1176/appi.books.9780890425787